Chukwuka Chukwumerije's Blog

That moment when you know you really love someone. But, she only sees you a very good 'friend', yet, she's loving someone who doesn't love her in equal measure.
You know beyond every doubt (both reasonable and unreasonable) that you would love her better if given the chance.You stay awake all night thinking of when she'll finally find out that you'll always be there for her; that you love her so much you can't bear to see a tear form in those beautiful brown eyes of hers, save for tears of joy. And, when she doesn't, you keep wondering what you did wrong; what you didn't say right or what you should have said but didn't.
But, you see, that's the way life is. We can't always have what we want.
So, when I saw Precy looking so dejected and confused, I asked her, "nne, what is it?"

"It’s Emmy oh." She feigned a smile - a curve on her lips that spoke nothing but deep sadness.
I silently prayed he didn't heartlessly throw her heart down the gutter, perhaps, I would have taught him a big lesson on what it really meant to be a real man. Ever since I've known Precy, it had always been Emma. In fact, she calls him 'my handsome', of which he'd always reply with a sheepish smile planted firmly on oval-shaped face.

"What about Emma?"

"I can't marry him." She said finally, like she'd finally accepted her fate. "I'll now have to marry the other guy." She planted a hand on her hips.

I looked into her face, studying it. "Why can't you marry Emmy?" Anybody that knows the two would agree that their marriage together was almost a done deal. So, why the sudden confusion?

"It's God's will," she said. She looked at me and knew I needed more clarification. "About four different men of God has asked me not to marry Emma if I want peace and happiness in my home." Thick folds of skin formed on her forehead as her frustration was to obvious to ignore.

"Uhm...uhm..." I stammered as I sought for words - the right words, but I found none. What was I supposed to tell her? Don't mind them and marry your 'obi' or listen to them so you'd have peace in your home? Because finally, the consequence of whatever decision she decides to make is of course, her's and her's alone.

"Chuka, I honestly don't know what to do. Emma is my love. Even if I end up marrying this other guy, I won't stop loving Emma."

"What's Emma's reaction to all of this." I finally found my voice.

"When I first told him, he fainted."

But you see? That's life. We don't always get what we want. Many people will prefer to describe life as being unfair. But, is it? Well, time they say, tells. Precy might end up not marrying the guy she's madly in love with but marry the other guy who loves her so much but who she doesn't share the same level of love with.
In situations like this, trust yourself less (in fact, don't trust yourself at all) and trust God more. 'Cause at the end, it's not just about our feelings, choice or even decisions. It's about seeing things through His eyes and letting Him lead us. If you think you are in love and he/she doesn't return the favour, then he/she wasn't meant to. If they're meant to, they will. Only time will tell.

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image was gotten from: http://howloveis.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/lovemeback.jpg

I'm sure we are all familiar with the word "bully". Well, it’s either you were bullied or you were the bully yourself. Anyways, back then in primary school, we had a bully - Kpata. Kpata was more than a bully; he was in fact a terrorist. He would enter our class and fight with every single person, and he wouldn't leave till he'd done some serious damage. Now that was about 21years ago...

"Jossy please come to my office," I informed my secretary over the intercom on my desk. My secretary had been working for me since the company started five years ago and I still believe strongly that she was given to me by God. You know this thing about bosses having flings with their secretaries? Well, our relationship had been in such a way that that sort of atmosphere was never created.
Few minutes later, she knocked and entered.
"I'll be going for lunch. Call me if my attention is seriously needed." I said as I stood up.

"Sir, you just came back few minutes ago from lunch." She found it difficult to hide her surprise. And, that was one of the things I loved about her - she had a way of being true to herself while still maintaining a great level of professionalism.

"Yeah, I know. I haven't felt this way before, but I feel like going out again. It's quite strange though."

"Well, don't resist the Holy Spirit," was her curt reply. I looked at her and smiled. I'd always prayed for a woman that would totally understand me, and more importantly, I've always prayed for a godly and virtuous woman. I gave her another look and something stirred in my heart. "God, are You telling me something?" I muttered under my breath, smiling.

I entered my brand new Toyota Highlander Hybrid as I headed towards Crunches - one of my best restaurants in town. I drove along Bende Road as I thought of the possibility of making Jossy more than just a secretary. Suddenly, I heard a loud scream, waking me from my chummy thoughts. Impulsively, my leg jammed on the brake with so much intense that my car screeched to a halt. Then it hit me - I had almost killed a man. I slowly raised my head as I looked at a tall dark man dressed in rags. I packed my car quietly by the roadside and came out. The man still stood there, right in the middle of the road, with a sad smile dancing on his face. All around, people were gathered. A lot of people casted weird looks at me, while the others just stared at the man.
A lot of questions ran through my mind: what was he doing there? Does he know that I could have killed him? And, why is everyone watching without offering any help?

"Oga, you for jam that man nah" an average sized man nudged me, bringing me back from my thoughts. I looked at him in surprised. His tattered clothes suggested he was a mechanic.

"God don finally catch am. All the people wey he don kill don dey torment am, now he wan kill insef," the man continued, trying to make me understand

"Who is he?" I asked him. "Why is nobody bringing him out from there?"

"Oga, you wan try? Oya go nah. That man fit kill pesin in one second. All the thief thief wey dat man don thief eh. In fact, police dey even fear....." He stopped talking as though he'd seen a ghost just before he immediately brisked away. Just like a robot controlled by some remote controller, everybody around me followed suit. I looked up and saw him walking towards me. For the first time, I saw his face completely - he looked like the terror my mechanic 'friend' had described. His face was a muscular mess. The spaces on his ragged clothes revealed horrid scars that threatened not to heal. I stood there, motionless. I just kept staring as he approached me. Just when he came closer, I felt my heart jump into my bowels. It was him! It was Kpata! It’s been 21years but I could still recognize him even through his heavy bearded face.
He stood about 5 inches from me, staring into my face. I stood – my feet, tightly fixed to the ground. Five minutes seemed like eternity. Then he smiled. His smile revealed a set of irregularly shaped teeth darkened severely by continuous chain smoking.
"This man. This man. This man," came a gruff hoarse voice as he hit my head continuously. "So you are still around eh? You don grow finish oh" He continued, still landing his rough broad right hand on my head my neatly combed hair. It was like a movie 'cause through my 'side' eyes, I could see multitudes staring at us. Some even brought out their camera phones to take shots. My guess was that they couldn't wait to see another rich man killed by Kpata.

"So na you wan jam me? You for jam me nah mek I know say I don die," a derisive smirk kept playing on his black broad lips.
I had to say something. I couldn't bear the thought of having him beat me up in public like he used to back then in our primary school days

"Sssssooorrrrry, I dddiiidn't mean to....em jjjjam You. I, I, I eh was hhheading to Cru-cru-crunches..." I stammered. He looked at my finely tailored suit, then his eyes flickered to my new car....and he smiled - a smile that made my heart run a 5000m marathon in 1minute.

"Oya nah, mek we go the Crunches nah. Since una no wan mek I die, mek I chop ze." He said and without invitation, he headed towards my car.

"What are You doing, Lord?" I muttered under by breath, "this man could hijack my car and kill me on the way." I kept talking to God as I moved towards my car. I opened the both doors and we drove off.

We arrived at Crunches and I ordered my meal. He ordered his too. Meanwhile, we hadn't talked since the journey. As we both eat in silence, I felt the Holy Spirit lead me on. I asked him questions about his live, education, relationships and as expected, he kept quiet. Encouraged by his silence, I told him about the love of God, how Jesus died for him as how he can be a clean man again. I noticed he'd stopped eating, his head bowed, but I kept talking.
Slowly, he raised his head. It then dawned on me that he'd been crying. At first, it was a quiet sob, then it grew to loud hoarse cries. I looked around me, and I saw people staring. Honestly, I was embarrassed. But soon afterwards, I was overcome with deep sincere emotions that I started crying with him. I was humbled by his humility. "Lord, I didn't expect it to be this easy" I said in between my sobs.

"I just needed someone to tell me about Him. Even for once. But everyone is too afraid to talk to me" he said when he'd finally calmed down. I just listened.
"I've done things. Oh! You won't understand. I've done things" he repeated. I couldn't allow my mind imagine the 'things' he'd done nor did I want to ask him the number of people he'd killed or the number of innocent women he'd raped, I just listened as he poured out his heart. After about 30minutes of finally telling me the horrible 'things' he'd done and how he was on the verge of suicide before I showed up, the he said-
"Save me if you can. Please" I could feel his desperation. I wondered if this was the same man I'd almost killed; the same man people ran from; the same man the police feared?

"I can't save you," I told him. I could see disappointment written all over his face, "but my Jesus can." I continued. I saw his face light up, like he'd just won a lottery.
I led him to Christ, and that was the beginning of a new chapter in his life
"I'll report myself to the police" he said to me as we drove back.........

PS: I'm sure you want to know what latter happened between me and Jossy abi? Kai! U too like story eh...Anyways, we latter got married and God has blessed our marriage with four kids. Kpata served a 4-year jail term. 'Twas reduced 'cause according to the judge: "...the accused has convincingly shown that he's a changed person. Moreover, he turned himself in..." Believe it or not, Kpata is now a minister... *

PPS: many a time, we are too scared to tell people about Jesus. We look at the prostitute by the roadside or the robber living very close to us and we think, "these ones are too hard hearted" or "they already have seats waiting for them in hell". But behind those scary facades they put up is a deep longing within - a longing for someone to talk to; someone to confide in; someone that will tell them how free they can be if only they allow Jesus.... Remember, they can't get saved if we don't tell them about Jesus...

image source: http://oyster.ignimgs.com/wordpress/write.ign.com/74314/2013/10/kids-bullying.jpg

I sat down in the front seat of the Mitsubishi bus with my traveling bag clutched tightly to my laps. It was almost 6pm and we were yet to leave the park for the village. I could perceive the sweet aroma of 'iwu ngu' - a delicacy only Isuochians can prepare so well, which made begin to salivate even the more, thereby increasing my desire to fly to Ngodo. The driver leaned beside a bus as he desired to make sure his bus filled to the brim - it was Christmas day, so, I couldn't blame him much for wanting to make as much money as he could. Behind me, the other passengers looked like they've been denied their 'right' - their unhappy faces sang a sonorous tune of frustration. We were all heading to Isuochi, so, their frustration could be understood - trust me, Christmas at Isuochi, is worth more than spending your vacation at Dubai's Burj Al Arab.

As we waited, I couldn't help but notice the argument between two men. One wore a complete 'isi agu' attire with a red cap, and, could be mistaken for a titled man. The other looked much more elderly yet muscular. I hadn't really fully realized that elderly people could still be muscular except for Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was latter that I discovered that the muscular man was the chairman of the motor park union.

Honestly, I don't know what began the argument, but what really got me, and maybe, the attention of the other passengers was when the muscular man shouted to the red-capped guy, "Do you know what the woman I have in my house does to me?"
He threw his hands towards the sky as he gesticulated in frustration; his voice, so loud and so deep - his many years of perhaps working as a motor park tout had evolved his voice from the deep yet romantic voice of gentlemen to a grotesquely deepened voice. Then he continued, "please, don't tell me that nonsense again."

"God left earth because of Eve."
I 'sharpened' my ear as I wanted to know where he was heading with this new line of argument.

"Yes! Because of Eve, God left the Garden of Eden that was on earth and has not come to the earth again ever since then." His voice bellowed; thick folds of skin lining different angles on his face as he strutted the path beside our bus. One couldn't help but imagine what the man might be passing through because of the 'woman in his house'.

I looked behind me as the female passengers began to chat among themselves amidst smiles. It was obvious the drama unfolding before their eyes was enough to distract them from their frustration. Honestly, I can't remember exactly what they were saying amongst themselves, but I think they were laying the blame on the 'chairman' for marrying a 'wahala' woman.
Just before we finally moved, a new character emerged the scene. Well, he'd been sitting with the 'chairman' all along, but, when he started giving his own biblical account of the 'wahalized' nature of women, I sharpened my ears once again.

"Their wahala didn't start today." The chairman in his white and green tshirt shook his head in agreement as a man with a very dark skin tone spoke. (For convenience, I'll call our new man, Emeka).

"You remember John the baptist?" Emeka asked rather rhetorically

"Could you imagine that after all his greatness, it was a woman that carried his head in a dish."

He continued his lecture, but I had to stop to think a bit. 'Cause, I thought our new character, Emeka, had a point there. Jezebel is a name that easily comes to mind whenever someone wants to talk about evil.

But, I honestly feel that women are a blessing. He that finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord. So, you see? Favour automatically follows any man that finds a good wife. The statement that behind every successful man is a woman, is true. From Ruth to Naomi; Elizabeth to Mary; Dorcas to Sarah; Deborah to Esther; Priscilla to Aquila; Hannah to Rahab, the list goes on and on, and these are women that have changed the course of nature; women who through their humility, selflessness, prayerfulness, perseverance, love, hard work have effected great positive change.

So, yesterday, while telling my zoology friends about this blog and this post, Peter jumped, "ehen nah, don't you see? Even this malaria that is killing Africans today is as a result of the females." He continued, "it’s the female anopheles mosquito that transfers the plasmodium that causes malaria to humans, not the males."

Nicolas, who was sitting by my right, shared his own sentiments from the zoological point of view. He described female organisms as natural 'nuisance' to their male counterparts.
Well, as a zoologist myself, I had to lend a voice, "even the drones (male bees) die after mating with the queen." We laughed as we hungrily waited in the restaurant to be served our meals.
But, my friends and I quickly pointed out that the female species (sorry, I'm a zoologist, lol) contribute immensely to the beauty of life. There is hardly any successful man dancing to the beautiful tune of prosperity and success without a woman behind him, strumming the guitar.

Personally, I believe women are truly specially prepared 'packages' signed by personally God and delivered through a divinely invented delivery medium to mankind. They are truly a blessing. Yes, there are times when they react in a 'funny' manner when pushed to the wall, but who doesn't?. On one of our zoological classes, as my lecturer expounded on one of the intricacies of the female specie especially women, I could only marvel at the ingenuity of God - the complexity of their physiology and the wonder of their morphology is nothing but a masterpiece. And, when you find a virtuous woman, her worth is truly far above rubies. It’s true.

Now, that's my view. Let us know about yours...

image source: http://www.codewit.com/images/stories/2013/november/knife-fight-between-friends-over-woman.png

Still me: Chukwuka!

PS: Remember our vision? To make this blog the most widely read and most visited blog in Nigeria before the end of this year (2014). So, don't forget to post the link to this blog everywhere, every time, every day. This is the beginning of a beautiful journey together.

PPS: I just gave my own view on the topic, yours might be different. Please, let's know your own opinion. Oya, let the fun begin!!

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